Happy Father’s Day

Another Father’s Day.  I have a husband and a son who are both fathers and I will be celebrating with both of them tomorrow.  The person missing, and someone I miss every day, is my own father of course.  I’ve been trying to think of the most important lesson I learned from my dad, something I could pass along to the young fathers here.  There are a few of you.

My father and I were estranged for nearly four years from the time I was 20 until I was 24.  He missed the birth of his first grandchild, my college graduation and against the law of averages at the time, me receiving a Masters Degree.  Not to get too sappy but he told me before he died that our time apart was the biggest regret of his life.  What drove us apart is less important than how we repaired our relationship and the deposits he made to my life when I was young.

My sister was a momma’s girl and I was Daddy’s Girl and a tomboy to boot.  My parents never took a vacation without us until we moved out of the house, and most of our vacations were two or three week road trips and camping all across the western United States, Mexico and Canada.  I grew up going to Dodger games and USC football games.  When I was stumped over a math question he guided me through with more patience than I probably deserved.  He taught me to swim when I was four and body surf by the time I was 10 as well as how to survive a rip tide.   It was from him that I learned to love and respect the ocean and the beach.  When I was 13 and wanted to learn to surf, he bought two surf boards, one for him and one for me.  And at 15 we learned to ski together.

From the time I can remember we took walks after dinner and talked.  I learned most of life’s lessons on those evenings.  And so, when it came time to forgive each other and forge a new, adult father/daughter relationship, I was able to look back with love and gratitude to my childhood and remember all the lessons, patience and devotion he’d shown me.

I hope all you fathers and children enjoy your day tomorrow.  I’ll be watching my son and his father interact in their own special way and be missing my own father for the times we spent together as well as the times we were apart.

Happy Father’s Day!

13 Responses

  1. That is a very sweet story. My son is grown-up and newly moved out. Our FD tradition was a bicycle ride and a burger out. This year since he can’t be here, he sent me some whiskey stones which I intend to put to good use.

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  2. I’ve never heard of whiskey stones before. My dad would have loved those for his vodka though, very manly……………..haha

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  3. Thank you, a touching sentiment.

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  4. Oh jeeze, my husband just came home with a giant coconut, you know the ones with the really big outside shells. Tomorrow he’s going to try to convince our grandson, who’s six, that if he incubates it, a baby gorilla will hatch. Our son believed it when he was six……………….. 😉

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  5. lms, that is a beautiful post–thanks! Does your son know that the “gorilla egg” schtick is going to get pulled again?? I was also a Daddy’s Girl growing up. . . I’ll try to come up with a couple of good stories to tell. Just as an example, though, my Dad talked my Mom into letting me have a real, live pony for my 5th birthday. And even better, she was preggers when they bought her, so a few months later I had a foal to raise.

    What man can compete with that???!!! No wonder I’m a tad disappointed that the Pres hasn’t gotten me my unicorn yet. . . 🙂

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  6. He doesn’t know michi but I’m sure the first words out of his mouth will be, “I wish you wouldn’t have brought a gorilla egg, we don’t have room for another animal”. For a step son/step father relationship those two sure are a lot alike.

    I never had a pony darnit. We had friends with horses and I used to ride quite a bit though. And now of course our granddaughter has horses. I’m hoping someone will let me ride tomorrow but they’re all being a little over protective lately……..lol

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  7. jnc.
    Those exact stones. Now I know how much he spent on me. I’m impressed.

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  8. Great post, lms, and great pony story, mich. I am almost always the one in our house advocating for our kids to have something or be allowed to do something, while my wife is more of the “let them learn to do without” school. It is probably a compensation for some things about my own father and upbringing, or perhaps I am just a pushover dad. I can’t say no to anything my daughter asks, so I am glad she asks my wife more often than me.

    Tomorrow, my son and I will see Prometheus, and I am looking forward to it. Today, I tried to take my daughter to Madagascar 3, but she doesn’t like those movies. It’s my last summer with my son before he leaves for college, so I am trying to make it a good one.

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  9. Enjoy your movie qb. I’ve been waiting to see that one myself………….maybe next weekend. Looking back on my childhood now, as someone who survived parenthood myself, I marvel at the amount of time my father, in particular, spent with me. He was a very busy man who worked long hours. I remember we used to eat dinner quite a bit later than most of my friends, waiting for him to get home, and then waiting for him to finish his cocktail………………haaaaahaaaaa.

    Anyway, Happy Father’s Day.

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  10. Thanks for the post, lms.

    Happy Father’s Day to all the dads out there.

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  11. Ditto: Happy Father’s Day to all the fathers on the blog: Left, Right, and Center.

    Edit: Whatever your misgivings about the current state of the blog LuLu, it is a better space than the other place. Just contrast the posts from today.

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  12. jnc

    I check the comments over there periodically and have to say I agree with you. No thanks. They’ve all pinned their hopes on some ignore button that may not do a damn bit of good if it ever arrives, which I find highly doubtful.

    ATiM is limping along so there’s hope for us yet. I’m hangin’ in there when time and other circumstances allow and also working on my attitude adjustment……………. 😉

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