Saturday Football Open Thread, Week 13

Posted on November 23, 2013 by Michigoose

None of the early games were terribly interesting (Rice beat UAB in OT 37 – 34, UCF trounced Rutgers 41 – 17, and UNLV crushed Air Force 41 – 21 on Thursday, then Navy beat San Jose State 58 – 52 on Friday). Today’s action:

MSU is at Northwestern (line: MSU, spread 7)(Noon EST/ESPN). This should be a rout–go, State! UPDATE: MSU wins handily, 30 – 6.

Michigan is playing Iowa (line: Iowa, spread 3.5) and that will probably be a closer game, especially since they’re playing in Iowa City. BTN at noon EST, if you’ve got it. UPDATE: Iowa wins 24 – 21. It was a much better game.

Oklahoma is at Kansas State (line: KSU, spread 3)(Noon EST/FOX Sports 1). Boomer, Sooner! UPDATE: Boomer, Sooner indeed! Oklahoma 41 – 31.

Pittsburgh is at Syracuse (line: Pitt, spread 1.5)(12:30 EST/ESPN3) in ACC action. Go Orange! UPDATE: Pitt squeaks out a win, 17 – 16.

Alabama A&M is playing Georgia Tech (line: GT, spread 51 [!!!])(1:30 EST/ESPN3). Sting ’em, Jackets! UPDATE: Georgia Tech wins 66 – 7. Damn!

Oregon is at Arizona (line: Ducks, spread 17.5)(3:30 EST/ABC)–go, Wildcats! UPDATE: “Carl’s” ‘Cats pull off a stunner and beat Oregon 42 – 16.

BYU visits Notre Dame (line: ND, spread 1)(3:30 EST/NBC). I’ll leave it to your imagination which team I’m rooting for in this game. UPDATE: Notre Dame wins 23 – 13.

BC is risking their eyesight today here in Maryland (line: BC, spread 1). Go, Eagles! Try to not be blinded by those uniforms. . . UPDATE: BC comes from behind to win 29 – 26.

Wisconsin is playing Minnesota (line: UW, spread 14.5)(3:30 EST/ESPN) and Indiana is at osu (line: osu, spread 31.5)(3:30 EST/ABC). C’mon Hoosiers–osu has to lose sooner or later! UPDATE: Wisconsin cruises past UMinn 20 – 7 and osu (dang it!) beats the Hoosiers 42 – 14.

Nebraska is in Happy Valley (line: PSU, spread 2.5). UPDATE: Nebraska pulls it out in OT 23 – 20.

Utah travels north to Washington State (line: WSU, spread 7). UPDATE: WSU wins 49 – 37.

SMU plays a late game at USF (line: SMU, spread 5.5). UPDATE: SMU wins 16 – 6.

Texas is resting up for Texas Tech on Thanksgiving.

Housekeeping note: I’ll be on the road between Michigan and home next Saturday, so there won’t be a football thread next week unless someone else wants to throw one up.

What else?

Filed under: Football, Open Thread | 6 Comments »

Saturday Football Open Thread, Week 12

Posted on November 16, 2013 by Michigoose

Early games: the Yellow Jackets lost to Clemson 31 – 55 Thursday night, and UCLA beat Washington. Today’s games:

A hapless Iowa State is playing Oklahoma in what should be a rout for the Sooners (line: OK, spread 21). UPDATE: Oklahoma wins 48 – 10.

From MiA:  They call themselves Sooners to commemorate the Land Rush in which the most aggressive of them got the best homesteads.  It was an actual covered wagon race for a land grab.  Thus we call this team The Land Thieves.  Later, they adopted their two word fight song, Boomer Sooner, by plagiarizing Yale’s inane Boolah Boolah.  The Land Thieves is both historically accurate and appropriately disrespectful.
 

And an equally hapless Purdue is visiting Happy Valley to take on PSU (line: PSU, spread 20.5). Go, Nittany Lions! UPDATE: PSU 45 – 21.

Indiana is at Wisconsin (line: UW, spread 18.5)(ESPN2, noon EST) while osu is playing the Illini (pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease)(line: osu, spread 32)(ESPN, noon EST).UPDATES: UW 50 – 3 and osu 60 – 35, damn them

NC State is playing Boston College (line: BC, spread 7.5). Go, Eagles! UPDATE: BC wins 38 – 21.

UPDATE: Maryland (of the horrible uniforms) is in OT at Virginia Tech and won 27 – 24.

WSU is at Arizona (line: AZ, spread 13.5) and Syracuse is at unbeaten FSU (line: FSU, spread 38.5)(errrr)(3:30 EST, ABC). Cheering for the Wildcats and Orange. UPDATE: FSU 59 – 3 (yup) and WSU 24 – 17 over Arizona

Michigan is playing the blood-spattered Wildcats (line: UM, spread 2.5), and if anybody deserves to lose for bad uniform choice, it would have to be Northwestern.UPDATE: UM wins 27 – 19 in OT

MSU is at Nebraska (line: Nebraska, spread 4)(3:30 EST/ABC) and Paul and I are duking it out. Go, State!!!UPDATE: MSU wins 41 – 28

OK State (who I believe Mark refers to as The Land Thieves) is playing Texas in Big 12 action (line: Texas, spread 4.5)(3:30 EST/FOX) and I’ll stay out of the middle of that one.  From MiA: we call this team Okie Lite, but no disrespect is intended.UPDATE: OSU wins 38 – 13

Utah visits the Ducks (line: Oregon, spread 25) and USF is hosting Memphis (line: Memphis, spread 2.5)(ouch). UPDATE: Utah and USF both lost

Minnesota and Notre Dame have the weekend off. May all the right teams win!

What else?

Filed under: Football, Open Thread, Saturday | 5 Comments »

Veterans’ Day Open Thread

Posted on November 11, 2013 by Michigoose

Happy Veterans’ Day to my fellow vets, and happy Monday to all! I think Brent is playing hooky, so thought I’d fill in for him and try to start a new thread. What are you doing this 11/11? I’m driving down to Annapolis this afternoon to see how they do V-Day there; not quite ready to try to battle the influx into D.C. this year.

Semper fi, fair winds and following seas, and Airborne!

Filed under: Open Thread, Veterans Day | Tagged: | 12 Comments »

Saturday Football Open Thread, Week 11

Posted on November 9, 2013 by Michigoose

Busy morning here, so I’m going to miss the first kickoffs, but here’s what’s up:

Early games: On Thursday Oklahoma lost to Baylor 12 – 41 (ouch, okie!) and Stanford managed to crush the Ducks 26 – 20 (the closeness of the score reflects a fabulous fourth quarter by Oregon, rather than a close game), while LA-Lafayette beat Troy 41 – 36.

Today’s games:

Penn State is at UMinn in Big Ten action (line: UM, spread 1.5)(Noon EST/ESPN2) UPDATE: UMinn wins 24 – 10.

Syracuse is playing at UMaryland, so we’re going to get to see the worst uniforms on the east coast again (seriously, who designed UMd’s uniforms?) (line: UMd, spread 3.5). UPDATE: Syracuse wins 20 – 3.

Nebraska is in the Big House (line: UM, spread 6.5)(3:30 pm EST/ABC) so Paul and I can duke it out. Go, Blue! I can feel magnanimous after last week. UPDATE: Nebraska beats the odds and the Wolverines 17 – 13.

Boston College is playing at New Mexico State (line: BC, spread 24 [!!]). Go, Eagles! UPDATE: BC wins 48 – 34.

BYU is traveling to Wisconsin (line: UW, spread 7)(3:30 pm EST/ESPN) Trounce ’em, Badgers! UPDATE: Wisconsin wins handily 27 – 17.

ASU is playing Utah (line: ASU, spread 7), where hopefully the Utes will freeze their tuchesses off. UPDATE: Utah blows a 12-point lead in the fourth quarter and loses 20 – 19.

Texas is playing a late game at West Virginia (line: UT, spread 8)(7:00 pm EST/FOX). Hook ’em, ‘Horns! UPDATE: Texas wins in overtime, 47 – 40.

Notre Dame is at Pitt (line: ND, spread 3.5)(8:00 pm EST/ABC). Go, Mrs NoVA’s alma mater! UPDATE: Pitt avenges last year’s triple OT loss by beating The Irish 28 – 21.

UCLA travels to visit Arizona (line: UCLA, spread 2.5)(8:00 pm EST/ESPN). Go, Wildcats! This could be a really good game. UPDATE: Arizona looked like they were going to come back, but UCLA wins 31 – 26.

Georgia Tech, USF and MSU have the weekend off.

What else?

Filed under: Football, Open Thread | 8 Comments »

Football Saturday Open Thread Returns

Posted on November 2, 2013 by Michigoose

An oldie makes it back–I’ve finally had time to pull together a Football Open Thread (in week 10–oy, vey!). Enjoy!

Early games this week: Cincinnati beat Memphis Wednesday (?!!?) night, and USF lost to Houston Thursday night (sorry, Mike!) while ASU spanked WSU 55 – 21. Also, Rice lost to North Texas and LA-Monroe beat Troy. OK, on to the main attractions–

Virginia Tech is at Boston College (Noon EDT, ABC/ESPN2; line: VT, spread 6). This is one of those games that I know virtually nothing about, this season or historically. But for Scott’s sake, Go Eagles! [Update BC wins! 34 – 27. Woo hoo!!!]

Illinois is playing Penn State (Noon EDT, ESPN; line: PSU, spread 10). After being humiliated by MSU last weekend the Illini might be looking for some face-saving. Despite PSU’s poor defense, I don’t think they’ll get it (but I don’t think PSU will beat them by 10–I’m calling it a one-touchdown game). [UpdatePSU wins in overtime 24 – 17]

Wisconsin vs Iowa (Noon EDT, ABC/ESPN2; line: Wisconsin, spread 7). Good Big Ten football–not too exciting, but it gets the job done. [Update
Wisconsin smushes Iowa 28 – 9]

Wake Forest in ACC play against Syracuse (line: Syracuse, spread 3.5). I don’t know why it surprises me every year that Wake Forest has a football team, but for some reason it does. Go, Orange! (Annnnd Syracuse takes it 13 – 0)

Arizona should smush UC Berkeley (line: Arizona, spread 14.5). Go, ‘Cats! Make McWing proud by annihilating those commies from the bay! [Update: And AZ wins 33 – 28]

Minnesota is playing Indiana (line: Indiana, spread 7). Homecoming for Indiana–does anyone go to homecoming games any more? I can’t remember if, other than as a student, I’ve ever been to a single one for either college or high school. Hmm. (IU loses to UM 42 – 39)

Navy is at Mrs NoVA’s alma mater, Notre Dame (3:30 EDT, NBC; line: ND, spread 17). This is one of those nice “historical” games–although after Navy’s wild finish last week it might be more interesting than I think. Nonetheless, Go, Irish! (Navy loses 34-38)

While the truly important game–Michigan vs MSU–is on ABC (line: MSU, spread 3.5). This probably will be a tight game, but I have faith in my Spartans. As long as MSU wins, we own the Legends division and will play osu for the conference championship. Go Green! Go White!! (MSU wins 29 – 6) mustnotgloatmustnotgloatmustnotgloat!!!!!

Oh, yeah, Northwestern is at Nebraska at the same time (line: Nebraska, spread 7), as is Kansas and Texas (line: UT, spread 27–ouch!)(Nebraska and UT win handily).

Pitt is venturing down south to Yellow Jacket territory late in the day (7:00 pm EDT on ESPNU; line: Georgia Tech, spread 8)[Update: GT dominates 21 – 10] as are the land thieves (?) OSU vs Texas Tech (line: OSU, spread 2.5)[OSU 52 – 34] in a Big Twelve smackdown on FOX.

Oklahoma and Utah are off this week.

May all the right teams win!

Strangely, in one of the WordPress updates, we seem to have lost the ability to use colored fonts unless you use html code. If I’m missing an easy button or something would somebody let me know?

Filed under: Football, Open Thread | 13 Comments »

Modified Morning Report by Michigoose

Posted on October 30, 2013 by Michigoose

Since I happen to know that Brent is on a plane right now, and the alliteration was too good to pass up for a title, herewith is a report from NPR that sums up much of what Brent usually pulls together for us:

Only a relatively low 130,000 jobs were added to private employers’ payrolls in October and the labor market in September was even weaker than first thought, according to the latest data from the ADP National Employment Report.

That survey from the payroll processing firm and economists at Moody’s Analytics signals that “the government shutdown and debt limit brinksmanship hurt the already softening job market in October,” Moody’s chief economist Mark Zandi says in the report.

Evidence that the job market was already stumbling includes a revision to ADP’s estimate for September. A month ago, it estimated that private employers had added 166,000 jobs to their payrolls that month. Now, it says there were only 145,000 more jobs than in August.

The past two months’ gains are tiny in comparison to the size of the nation’s civilian labor force: nearly 156 million.

The ADP report is something of a barometer for the also widely watched monthly employment report issued by the Bureau of Labor Statistics. That agency’s estimates of the October unemployment rate and payroll growth during the month won’t be released until Nov. 8.

Wednesday’s other economic news:

— BLS says consumer prices rose just 0.2 percent in September from August. Over the past year, prices have gone up just 1.2 percent.

The September consumer price index report triggers the following year’s cost-of-living adjustment in Social Security benefits. Next year’s increase: 1.5 percent.

— Federal Reserve policymakers finish up a two-day meeting in Washington, and at 2 p.m. ET are scheduled to issue their latest statement about the health of the economy and their plans going forward. Financial markets have rallied in recent days on the expectation that the Fed will not begin scaling back its efforts to boost the economy by purchasing billions of dollars worth of bonds each month.

After the 2 p.m. announcement, Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke is scheduled to take questions from reporters.

What else?

Filed under: Morning Report, Open Thread | 36 Comments »

With Experts Like These. . .

Posted on October 29, 2013 by Michigoose

Suzanne Somers is an Expert, who knew?

Somehow I don’t think that this is quite what the WSJ anticipated when it gave the former actress and lifestyle guru access to their editorial pages:

CORRECTIONS AND AMPLIFICATIONS:

An earlier version of this post contained a quotation attributed to Lenin (“Socialized medicine is the keystone to the arch of the socialist state”) that has been widely disputed. And it included a quotation attributed to Churchill (“Control your citizens’ health care and you control your citizens“) that the Journal has been unable to confirm.

Also, the cover of a Maclean’s magazine issue in 2008 showed a picture of a dog on an examining table with the headline “Your Dog Can Get Better Health Care Than You.” An earlier version of this post incorrectly said the photo showed and headline referred to a horse.

And, in case you didn’t know, evidently Obamacare is taking the place of Medicare, if what Ms Somers writes in her editorial is true about Obamacare’s effect on the elderly. You heard it here first!

Filed under: 2013 and beyond, PPACA | Tagged: | 54 Comments »

Saturday Open Thread

Posted on September 28, 2013 by Michigoose

Just thought I’d post an open thread so that folks can throw anything up. Shamelessly stolen from Ezra Klein’s Wonkblog:

    The Best Sentences We Read Today


— “I’m going to look them in the eye and say, ‘You must be confusing me with someone who gives a f— about your opinion.'”

I hope that link works. I had to google the sentence to get to the article from Wonkblog’s link.

— “So hang on tight because you are going to get some clear and true facts without rumor and innuendo, or any accompanying B.S. and mush.”

— “Chicken-sh— editors who wouldn’t touch stories like that, they love documents, so he changed the whole ball game.”

— “The Administration has had nearly two million minutes to implement this law.”

—Lydia DePillis

What else do we have? Both MSU and UM have byes this week, so I don’t have much in the way of football to watch today.

Filed under: Open Thread, Saturday | 16 Comments »

Politically Correct Bedtime Stories–The Three Little Pigs

Posted on September 12, 2013 by Michigoose

Once there were three little pigs who lived together in mutual respect and in harmony with their environment. Using materials that were indigenous to the area, they each built a beautiful house. One pig built a house of straw, one a house of sticks, and one a house of dung, clay, and creeper vines shaped into bricks and baked in a small kiln. When they were finished, the pigs were satisfied with their work and settled back to live in peace and self-determination (NB: Sounds positively Libertarian, doesn’t it?)

But their idyll was soon shattered. One day, along came a big, bad wolf with expansionist ideas. He saw the pigs and grew very hungry, in both a physical and an ideological sense. When the pigs saw the wolf, they ran into the house of straw. The wolf ran up to the house and banged on the door, shouting, “Little pigs, little pigs, let me in!”

The pigs shouted back, “Your gunboat tactics hold no fear for pigs defending their homes and culture.”

Bu the wolf wasn’t to be denied what he thought was his manifest destiny. So he huffed and puffed and blew down the house of straw. The frightened pigs ran to the house of sticks, with the wolf in hot pursuit. Where the house of straw had stood, other wolves bought up the land and started a banana plantation.

At the house of sticks, the wolf again banged on the door and shouted “little pigs, little pigs, let me in!”

The pigs shouted back, “Go to hell, you carnivorous, imperialistic oppressor!”

At this, the wolf chuckled condescendingly. He thought to himself: “They are so childlike in their ways. It will be a shame to see them go, but progress cannot be stopped.”

So the wolf huffed and puffed and blew down the house of sticks. The pigs ran to the house of bricks, with the wolf close at their heels. Where the house of sticks had stood, other wolves built a time-share condo resort complex for vacationing wolves, with each unit a fiberglass reconstruction of the house of sticks, as well as native curio shops, snorkeling, and dolphin shows.

At the house of bricks, the wolf again banged on the door and shouted, “Little pigs, little pigs, let me in!”

This time in response, the pigs sang songs of solidarity and wrote letters of protest to the United Nations.

By now the wolf was getting angry at the pigs’ refusal to see the situation from the carnivore’s point of view. So he huffed and puffed, and huffed and puffed, then grabbed his chest and fell over dead from a massive heart attack brought on from eating too many fatty foods.

The three little pigs rejoiced that justice had triumphed and did a little dance around the corpse of the wolf. Their next step was to liberate their home land. They gathered together a band of other pigs who had been forced off their lands. This new brigade of porcinistas attacked the resort complex with machine guns and rocket launchers and slaughtered the cruel wolf oppressors, sending a clear signal to the rest of the hemisphere not to meddle in their internal affairs. Then the pigs set up a model socialist democracy with free education, universal health care, and affordable housing for everyone.

Please note: The wolf in this story was a metaphorical construct. No actual wolves were harmed in the writing of the story.

From Politically Correct Bedtime Stories © 1994 by James Finn Garner

Filed under: housing, Humor, Politically Correct Bedtime Stories | Tagged: | Leave a comment »

Politically Correct Bedtime Stories–The Emperor’s New Clothes

Posted on September 11, 2013 by Michigoose

Far away, in a time long past, there lived a traveling tailor who found himself in an unfamiliar country. Now, tailors who move from place to place normally keep to themselves and are careful not to overstep the bounds of local decency. This tailor, though, was overly gregarious and decorum-impaired, and soon he was at a local inn, abusing alcohol, invading the personal space of the female employees, and telling unenlightened stories about tinkers, dung-gatherers, and other trades people.

The innkeeper complained to the police, who grabbed the tailor and dragged him in front of the emperor. As you might expect, a lifetime of belief in the absolute legitimacy of the monarchy and in the inherent superiority of males had turned the emperor into a vain and wisdom-challenged tyrant. The tailor noticed these traits and decided to use them to his advantage.

The emperor asked, “Do you have any last request before I banish you from my domain forever?”

The tailor replied, “Only that your majesty allow me the honor of crafting a new royal wardrobe. For I have brought with me a special fabric that is so rare and fine that it can be seen only by certain people—the type of people you’d want to have in your realm—people who are politically correct, morally righteous, intellectually astute, culturally tolerant, and who don’t smoke, drink, laugh at sexist jokes, watch too much television, listen to country music, or barbecue.”

After a moment’s thought, the emperor agreed to this request. He was flattered by the fascist and testosterone-heavy idea that the empire and its inhabitants existed only to make him look good. It would be like having a trophy wife and multiplying that feeling by 100,000.

Of course, no such rarefied fabric existed. Years of living outside the bounds of normal society had forced the tailor to develop his own moral code that obliged him to swindle and embarrass the emperor in the name of independent craftspeople everywhere. So, as he diligently labored, he was able to convince the emperor that he was cutting and sewing pieces of fabric that, in the strictest objective sense of reality, didn’t exist.

When the tailor announced that he was finished, the emperor looked at his new robes in the mirror. As he stood there, naked as the day he was born, one could see how years of exploiting the peasantry had turned his body into an ugly mass of puffy white flesh. The emperor, of course, saw this too, but pretended that he could see the beautiful, politically correct robes. To show off his new splendor, he ordered a parade to be held the next day.

On the following morning, his subjects lined the streets for the big parade. Word had spread about the emperor’s new clothes that only enlightened people with healthy lifestyles could see, and everyone was determined to be more right-minded than his or her neighbor.

The parade began with great hoopla. As the emperor marched his pale, bloated, patriarchal carcass down the street, everyone loudly oohed and ahed at his beautiful new clothes. All except one small boy, who shouted:

“The emperor is naked!”

The parade stopped. The emperor paused. A hush fell over the crowd, until one quick-thinking peasant shouted:

“No, he isn’t. The emperor is merely endorsing a clothing-optional lifestyle!”

A cheer went up from the crowd, and the throngs stripped off their clothes and danced in the sun, as Nature had intended. The country was clothing-optional from that day forward, and the tailor, deprived of any livelihood, packed up his needle and thread and was never heard from again.

Being a clothing optional person myself, I find this one particularly amusing.

Filed under: Humor, Politically Correct Bedtime Stories | Leave a comment »

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