For Troll

Star Trek sequel review from Reason’s Peter Suderman.

“Star Trek Into Darkness” is an apt title for a movie as empty as the vastness of space. The movie moves as if through a vacuum — fast and frictionless, from one scene to another, with a lot of nothing along the way. The warp-speed pacing only barely hides the fact that it never really goes anywhere at all, and doesn’t aim to either. The final frontier? Forget it. This soulless sequel to a reboot is only too happy to go where every generic sci-fi blockbuster has gone before, and not so boldly either.

35 Responses

  1. I’m trying to stay spoiler free as J.J. Abrams movies tend to have pretty tight security around them. The one give away I’ve seen is a synopsis that says the movie is in English and Klingon (with subtitles).

    I saw the latest (and presumably last) trailer for it just before Iron Man and was shocked that it had actual scenes in space. All the previous trailers could have been for Terminator Part 7 for all the post-apocalyptic waste.

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  2. My wife wants to go tomorrow night. it’s either that or the Great Gatsby. the deal is I’m picking the restaurant and she’s picking the movie

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  3. Great Gatsby got panned too. Every review I read has said it’s bad, but DiCapro is good.

    http://www.rollingstone.com/movies/lists/summer-movie-preview-2013-20130507/the-great-gatsby-19691231

    Star Trek is apparently trying to be “edgy” by acting as a commentary on Bush/Cheney terrorism policy.

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  4. well, at least dinner will be good.

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  5. Find a casino and go play craps instead.

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  6. Look, as the only fan of the reboot (and the only one around here with taste it seems) I’m withholding judgement until I’ve seen it

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  7. You corked me, NoVA.

    I was going to suggest that, if you pick a good/romantic enough restaurant, you might solve the movie dilemma right there.

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  8. “Find a casino and go play craps instead”

    I’m hopeful that the proposal for one in neighboring PG county maryland gets approved.

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  9. I went to see the new Star Trek movie last night and was delighted with how they played with the mythology. There were probably more Easter eggs in there than I could get because I’ve never seen all the TOS episodes. Someone very carefully put a lot of references to events in the alternate ST timeline in there. Some of the events very directly play out as alternate future history if that can be such a thing.

    And of course there is the whole allegorical level to Dick Cheney and the neocons driving us into a war unnnecessarily.

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  10. I was at a party last night and a ST aficionado mentioned that there is an Audi commercial out with both Leonard Nimoy and the actor who plays the young Spock and that, for other ST fans, it’s hilarious.

    I think this is the one he meant, and I’d have to agree:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WPkByAkAdZs

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  11. So, NoVA. Report?

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  12. No prob, Mark.

    Just trying to keep my Girl Geek credentials alive!

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  13. “yellojkt, on May 19, 2013 at 3:24 am said:

    I went to see the new Star Trek movie last night and was delighted with how they played with the mythology.”

    If this write up is accurate, it’s easily the biggest piece of crap to ever bear the name “Star Trek”, which given the existence of “Star Trek V” is saying a lot.

    http://io9.com/star-trek-into-darkness-the-spoiler-faq-508927844

    If this is any guide, I can only imagine in what God awful way JJ Abrams is going to fuck up the Star Wars franchise. And I thought things couldn’t get any worse after Jar Jar Binks.

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    • I read that FAQ and cannot dispute any of the details but feel the tone was overly harsh.

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      • I saw it in 3D last night with two other guys. We all really liked it. We all thought it was critically a bad film. I like a lot of bad films. So shoot me.

        Troll, it was critically a bad film because it was completely and totally predictable. Further, in order to pay respects to the first incarnation, characters were shoe horned into the narrative.

        It is totally forgettable. But I liked it and thought it was visual fun to see in 3D. The Sherlock Holmes guy plays Khan, the villain, and he commands the screen when he is on; he was a pleasant surprise.

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  14. Mark: “The Sherlock Holmes guy” = Robert Downey, Jr?

    He’s turned into quite a formidable actor.

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    • No – the guy has a name like “Cummerbund” and played Sherlock on a new PBS Mystery series that originated with BBC, probably.

      Addendum: http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/masterpiece/sherlock/

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    • Benedict Cumberbatch aka Bandersnatch Cummerbund to Lisa De Moreas of WaPo is the modern day BBC Sherlock. Robert Downey Jr is the Hollywood Victorian era Sherlock. Johnny Lee Miller is the modern day CBS NYC Sherlock with Lucy Liu as his Watson. It’s tough when you have too many Holmes.

      I think it is an interesting coincidence that two different Sherlocks have tentpole sci-fi flicks out right now.

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      • Michi — Date night ended up a little different than planned. we both got stuck at the office a bit b/c of a CMS rule drop. So, we made a crossfit class and had a late dinner. thought about an 11:00 showtime, but we had an early flight to BOS for a wedding the next day .. skipped the movie.

        Re: BOS. fun story. check in to hotel and have lunch with friends around 2:00. who causally start talking about the wedding and it being “black tie.” WTF are you talking about I say? I packed a suit, not a tux. closer look at the invite .. on the bottom in script “BLACK TIE” CRAP! get on the phone, explain the situation and men’s wearhouse saves the day in less than an hour. tux, alterations, and all the accessories, shoes …everything. no top hat though. still looked awesome though.

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  15. “And of course there is the whole allegorical level to Dick Cheney and the neocons driving us into a war unnecessarily.”

    If you want to see Star Trek at it’s best on the morality of decision making during wartime, watch this DS9 episode:

    http://en.memory-alpha.org/wiki/In_the_Pale_Moonlight_%28episode%29

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  16. NoVA: that’s awesome! Pity about the top hat, but still!

    Where did you stay in BOS?

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  17. hyatt harborside.
    it was a super fast trip. in saturday, out sunday. if not for my oversight, i never would have made it into the city at all. but now I have a tux.

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  18. yep. i really lucked out. the jacket was off the shelf and was my size. hem the pants and i was good to go. I already had a black (real) bow tie at home, so the pre-tied one i bought will probably sit in a drawer.

    I got married in a white dinner jacket (w/ black pants of course). might have to add that to the collection one day and start going to more events.

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  19. Deep Space Nine is my favorite of the Star Trek series because it is so morally ambiguous. It’s also where they started the Section 31 stories which are part of the ‘Into Darkness’ plot.

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  20. DS9 has the best writing, especially in the last three seasons. It’s due to Ronald D. Moore & Michael Piller.

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    • Rick Berman is the worst thing that happened to Star Trek but it was Brannon Braga who got Ronald Moore fired from Trek. Battlestar Galactica was Moore’s giant ‘Fuck you!’ on how Voyager should have been written.

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  21. “Rick Berman is the worst thing that happened to Star Trek”

    Was he responsible for the reboot? I’d take Voyager over the last two movies.

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  22. Also:

    “yellojkt, on May 22, 2013 at 3:48 am said:

    I read that FAQ and cannot dispute any of the details but feel the tone was overly harsh.”

    This reminds me of your general critique of libertarianism.

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  23. I’m pretty sure I’ve stayed there.

    Nice score on the tux–men always look good in black tie!

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  24. This reminds me of your general critique of libertarianism.

    At least I’m getting credit for accuracy. I would hate to misrepresent it.

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