Brent Nyitray
Fairlington Blade
Let the mutherfuker burn!
jnc4p
Kevin S. Willis
Michigoose
lmsinca
markinaustin
Arcanaut
novahockey
quarterback
ScottC
yellojktYeah, I know I’m barely around. Sorry! Work, and general efforts at self-improvement, have necessitated some tough decisions about how I use my free time.
Not that I’ve ever watched pornography, but if I ever had, I certainly wouldn’t now. Turns out it can be really, really bad for you. And easy access to infinite varieties of hardcore adult materials via high speed internet is giving young men erectile dysfunction. When they’re in their late teens and early 20s! Eeek.
Technology. It always has a dark side.
Free Cookies are Never Truly Free!
In a similar vein, I found myself engaged enough by his writing to read most of Athol Kay’s Married Man Sex Life blog (can’t imagine what interested me). There are 3 years of blog posts, so it represented a lot of reading.
He recommends the Captain and First Officer model for marriage (from Star Trek), with the husband being the Captain and the wife being the First Officer. Sounds good to me, but I can’t convince my wife.
He also recommends that couples have sex every night. I can’t convince the wife on that point, either.
There Is Nothing Safe in This Room . . .
The video for Billy Idol’s White Wedding, only with much more literal lyrics. It made me laugh.
The video for Tears for Fears “Head Over Heels” is really awesome, too.
Apparently, doing literal videos is a thing. Lots of different people, at varying qualities, have posted their own literal videos on YouTube. Hmmm.
…
Filed under: Bits and Pieces | Tagged: billy idol, literal videos, pornography |
All Things in Moderation 
Nate Silver addresses something I’ve been mulling
http://fivethirtyeight.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/06/19/hispanic-voters-less-plentiful-in-swing-states/?partner=rss&emc=rss
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Hi Kev, nice to see one of your bits & pieces. I decided not to read the married man sex life blog. Being married to a man for 34 years, I pretty much have all the opinions on that I need. Not sure about the captain thing, it doesn’t sound like the kind of role playing I would enjoy………. 😉
I need to find that happiness store and spend some money. Hope you had a nice Father’s Day and good luck on all the self-improvement stuff, I’ve been busy trying to prove to my doctor et al, that I’m still a healthy 62 year old……………..sheesh.
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Below is a great video of how to stop a nightmare. I couldn’t figure out how to have it ready to start in the comments so you’ll have to click the link. It’s short but worth it if you’re a cat lover.
<a href="“>
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Veeeerrrrrrryyyyyy interesting post, Kevin! I had actually seen (at some point since you got me hooked on TED talks) the TED talk about porn, and I have to say that it makes sense to me. Humans are actually not adapted/evolved at all for much of what the internet has enabled us to do, so it doesn’t surprise me that something that addresses such a basic instinct as reproduction can have really bad results at a basic level.
And, unlike lms (chicken! bawk, bawk, bawk!!) I did click on the married man sex life blog and read the little bit about the Captain and First Officer role concept. Maybe it’s because of my military background, maybe it’s because I’m a Trekkie, but it makes sense to me (especially, lms, if you go ahead and reverse the gender roles like Janeway and Chackotey). To me, it all comes down to self-confidence.
And would that we all have someone to stop nightmares so effectively! Thanks for that link, lms!
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Michi
especially, lms, if you go ahead and reverse the gender roles like Janeway and Chackotey
Hahahahahah, my husband’s a very liberated man but reversing gender roles would not appeal to him.
Glad you enjoyed the video. I love, love, love cats but can’t have any because of family members with allergies. That one made me smile.
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the TED talk about porn, and I have to say that it makes sense to me
It makes a lot of sense, but does not make any kind of intuitive sense to a young man or teenager (often just entering puberty) who discovers the pornucopia and immediately sets about destroying the dopamine receptors meant to drive normal sexual attraction/pair-bonding behaviors. Then they have a horrible time trying to form normal relationships with women and can’t figure out what’s wrong . . . fortunately, I grew up when Cinema After Dark was as racy as it got (and that was rarely as racy as such HBO/Cinemax fair is now).
It was interesting to learn how many people are doing reboots (swearing off PMO—that is, Porn-Masturbation-Orgasm . . . so much so that there’s support groups and a whole language evolving around the movement) and the so-called NoFap movement (which, for bodybuilders, often involves no masturbation and even limited or no actual sex-to-orgasm for the point of building muscle and improving workouts). But porn is definitely the fast food of sex, especially for guys, is similarly addictive, and similarly screws up your dopamine receptors (thus, normal sex and relationships becoming boring and pointless, the same way raw fruits and veggies are unappealing to folks raised on a diet of big macs and fries and refined sugars).
Maybe it’s because of my military background, maybe it’s because I’m a Trekkie, but it makes sense to me (especially, lms, if you go ahead and reverse the gender roles like Janeway and Chackotey).
His point, though, is that while such role reversals can work functionally (and may be functionally superior, depending on the man and woman as individuals), they kill sexual attraction which is almost entirely a function of the limbic system (i.e., lizard brain), so it’s inadvisable for men who want to have something more than perfunctory sex with their wives to submit to such a role reversal. Which is consistent with my anecdotal observations. Having stupidly submitted to just such a role reversal early on, because I didn’t know any better.
Self-improvement is going well. Involves a lot of working out, but it’s good. I haven’t exercised this much, or this consistently, since I was 20 years old. I’ve lost about 55 lbs. Weening myself from other bad habits. Tonight, I need some fokking sleep. I’m glad I’ve gotten in touch with that internal drive to self-improve, and it wakes me up at 5 in the morning to go work out (seriously: no alarm needed, almost every day . . . I’d skip the workout and take the sleep, if that internal task master would let it happen). Even if I don’t get to sleep until after 1 AM, like last night. Recently I’ve suffered from insomnia, but I’m not taking pills, I’m looking to take less pills, not more. I want to ween myself from the Simvastatin and maybe the Allapurinol (for the gout) as I’m eating much, much less on a consistent basis than when I was suffering from gout attacks and high cholesterol.
I think my gout was the product a diet to rich in purine-producing food (fat man’s gout, basically), and I’m trying to eat a much less purine-rich, much less acid diet as well. The cholesterol I am sure was reflective of my long term diet, and should be much, much better next time I get my levels checked.
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No comments on the Literal Videos? I can’t get the Head over Heels video out of my head. Of course, I’m a child of the 80s, and remembering watching these videos over and over on MTV, back in the day.
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Congrats Kevin. That’s quite a change. Eliminating the Allapurinol is entirely doable. My husband did it when we changed his diet permanently. He lost about 20 lbs. he needed to lose and we eliminated some of the foods he loves, and that even seemed healthy, from his diet and replaced them with others. He’s even been able to eat some of the restricted foods again, in small quantities, and not have any reaction.
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That’s good to hear, lm. I’m suspecting most of my gout attacks had to do with the overall quantity of food consumed (especially purine producing food) in my diet. Since I am eating much less over all, I suspect it would be less of a problem to face the world without the Allapurinol. I just ate too much crap.
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“normal sex and relationships becoming boring and pointless, the same way raw fruits and veggies”
my wife and I were talking about this. she read somewhere — can’t recall — that porn had basically ruined sex for the under 30 crowd. replacing intimacy and learning about your partner with essentially guys wanting to reenact that they’d seen.
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replacing intimacy and learning about your partner with essentially guys wanting to reenact that they’d seen
And, based on a huge number of the cases, unable to perform even with women who are game to re-enact . . . and unable to climax without masturbation. Whatever I might want to bitch and whine about, I am soooooo grateful that I met my wife-to-be before high speed internet “adult entertainment”. Because I’ve always liked computers, and I’ve always liked naked women, and I expect that would have seemed like a perfect fit to me when I was 15. As it was, all my dopamine receptors were in the right place and things worked as one would expect (that is, totally awesomely!) when it came to foolin’ around with the wife-to-be back in 1990.
I dodged a bullet on that one.
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