Yesterday, I read through lms’s hiatus post and the comments on it. I’m not here much because of time constraints and health reasons, but I feel a connection to this discussion that goes back to a time on the Plum Line maybe a couple of years ago when I raised the issue of women’s voices in the public sphere. There was a wide ranging conversation that included a request of Greg to add a woman poster.
I won’t try to reprise all the arguments here. But oddly perhaps, the one comment I remember most was from Cao. He said that the only scientifically proven psychological difference between genders was in competitiveness. I don’t know about the accuracy of that or what studies he was basing it on. But I think it offers one construct that may be useful in thinking about what happens on this blog and others.
While I know how very competitive women can be, it’s my sense that men and women differ in the nature of how we’re competitive, and that it has to do with both stakes and practicality. I’m going to offer only one anecdotal example here. I know my son and son-in-law will compete over something as trivial as who is quicker at solving the riddles on their kids’ Popsicle sticks, while the women in the family wouldn’t.
Translating this to the world of the blog is maybe a big leap, but I’ll try anyway. I think a lot of discussion on this blog and others has to do with the difference between constructing a point and winning a point. I know that when I’ve raised an issue to discuss and tried to state my case as clearly as I can that I don’t feel like trying to beat down every opposing comment, particularly if it feels tangential. I may try to state my position in another way that I hope will clarify it, but if there is still a lot of opposition noise that I don’t agree with, I am generally ready to exit the discussion. It’s not because I feel vanquished. It’s more because I see no point in trying to convince someone who by opinion and/or temperament won’t be convinced. I have other things to do.
I think ATiM is a great experiment, and it would be sad for it to collapse over a difficulty that has a lot to do with how a discussion is carried on. And it’s particularly sad to think that, as hard as lms has worked on this experiment, the climate may no longer feel welcome to her and perhaps to some of the other women. So let me ask this of those men who found themselves entrenched on the other side of the argument about women’s health: does trying to win a point that others may see as strained really make it worth coming across as indifferent to an issue of bedrock importance to the women who live it?
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